If you’ve got a loved one who’s undergoing rehab and find it difficult to look for the right words to talk to them, here are a few tips on what you shouldn’t ever say to your recovering friends and family:
Don’t say: “You’re so selfish. Why can’t you just stop?”
Cosmopolitan advises to avoid this sort of accusation. It would be ideal if all recovering addicts could simply put a stop to their addiction whenever someone tells them to. That’s not how it happens, though. They can’t will this away since it’s literally a disease that affects the brain. Most addicts are really doing the best they can. So don’t undermine their efforts by reducing everything to mere selfishness.
Don’t say: “You’ll never beat this”
Support makes for a massive effect on the recovering psyche of an addict. The road to recovery is rife with frustration. And you won’t be doing anyone a favor by telling them they won’t make it to the finish line. Instead, you need to encourage them to keep going, to never give up hope of being drug or alcohol free someday.
Don’t say: “You won’t be able to drink or get high ever again”
That’s an alarming thought for someone with an addiction, says the Huffington Post. Addiction problems often come along with a ton of deep-seated emotional issues. And working through those issues is going to be hard enough without them obsessing over the fact that they won’t ever get to drink or get high again.
Don’t say: “So-and-so is in recovery too!”
Recovery is often a private affair. If a friend or family has shared these details with you, you need to keep those details private. Don’t just throw them out to anyone who might listen. Respect your friend or family member’s privacy by keeping mum on those details.
Don’t say: “Recovery can only be done one way”
There are a lot of ways to recovery. Some find it in a rehab center in Malibu. Some find it in meditation exercises. There are plenty of options and anyone is welcome to try out a handful to find out the treatment program or style that works for them. Don’t impose your own.
So the next time you talk to a recovering loved one, keep these tips in mind. By knowing enough about your loved one’s condition, you can make that conversation better than both of you could have thought or hoped for.
Serenity Malibu provides recovery services. For more on our services, call us.